Visited Fall, 2020
Favorite spots
Hike, watch the sunset or go paragliding at Torrey Pines State Reserve
Smoothies at NoW Cafe
Coffee at Better Buzz and Bird Rock Coffee Roasters
Pints at the Belching Beaver North Park Tasting Room, I recommend the Belching Beaver Viva La Beaver- Mexican Chocolate Milk Stout
If you want to be loved,
Darling, just play the role.
Remember, I decide your value.
You are only here for how I need you, nothing else.
Your comfort… not my concern, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.
How naïve are you?
Oh perfect… you don’t listen to your boundaries.
Use and abuse?
Of course you won’t pushback.
You keep telling me you want to be loved,
But then you push back and tell me I’m doing it wrong.
Don’t you get how this works.
You don’t get a say in how you want to be loved.
Your pleasure isn’t my concerned.
Now you want to hold power and be in control.
I’ll make you pay.
I’ll use those feelings, that care, compassion, and empathy to destroy you.
Did you forget?
My feelings are your responsibility.
Your job is to take care of me first.
How dare you push back and think yourself worth is even close to mine
How dare you make me uncomfortable.
You do not get to be the comfortable one.
Show me how much you actually love me.
How dare you enjoy anything that diminishes me.
You will be punished if this makes me look bad.
How dare you enjoy something at my expense.
How dare you challenge me. You are not equal.
Take it, take all the abuse, more, you deserve it.
I’m so sorry.
You should have just listened.
You don’t know better.
You’ll do better next time.
If you want to be loved,
Darling, just play the role.
In no particular order. These are the albums that helped keep me going this year.
I miss you and don’t want to not have you in my life.
You want me how you want me.
Not how I want me.
How do I keep me when I try to exist with you?
Can I have you in my life and still live my best life?
Are you taking up space or empowering me to grown?
You want to be what I need, but in action (practice), cannot be who I need.
I love you but…
I love you, but the time is wrong.
I love you, but I’m struggling to let go.
I love you, but I love me more.
But Did You Live? 