Building trust is fundamental to any relationship, whether in business, friendship, or romance. But how do we transition from knowing very little about someone to trusting them implicitly?
How do we reach a point where we’re willing to invest our resources, time, and networks into their vision and goals, or even consider creating a shared future?
One effective method involves creating an environment for open, candid, and vulnerable communication. A technique known as Mono-dialogue + Eye-gazing offers a powerful way to foster a deeper connection between partners.
What is Mono-dialogue + Eye-gazing?
Mono-dialogue + Eye-gazing is a practice rooted in active and reflective listening. I encountered this technique while studying tantra and yoga in Ecuador. Unlike many listening exercises, this practice focuses solely on providing a space for the speaker to express themselves. The listener’s role is to be fully present and absorb what is shared, without needing to respond or restate anything.
An exercise in being true to oneself and in relation to others.
The Purpose and Protocol
The purpose of Mono-dialogue + Eye-gazing is to speak uninterrupted about whatever is on one’s mind, flowing directly from mind and spirit into words, to allow a raw and unfiltered communication of emotions, thoughts, etc., while the other person listens and absorbs without interfering with the flow.
Setup: Sit across from your partner and make direct eye contact.
Time & Requirements: 1-2 hours; 2 individuals; in-person (preferred).
- Become Present and Grounded: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and slowly release it. Repeat this grounding process 3-5 times.
- Eye-gazing: Spend 5 minutes silently making eye contact with your partner. This helps establish a deeper interpersonal connection.
- Sharing – Person 1: Person 1 (P1) asks Person 2 (P2) for consent to share. Once consent is given, P1 speaks uninterrupted for 15 minutes. P2 listens attentively without speaking or reacting.
- Sharing – Person 2: The roles are reversed. P2 now takes 15 minutes to share their thoughts, while P1 remains the listener.
Repeat Sharing Cycle: Engage in at least 1-3 more rounds of sharing, with both partners alternating roles. After each round, take a moment to close your eyes, breathe, and center yourselves.
- Closing: Dedicate 5 minutes to thanking each other for sharing and listening. If both are comfortable, reflect on your experience and discuss what you’ve learned or are curious about.
Tips and Enhancements
- Embrace discomfort; speaking for an extended time can trigger various emotions.
- Topics are flexible; share whatever feels right to you.
- Neither person is not obligated (but they may choose) to reply or acknowledge anything said by the other individual during their time of sharing.
- Consider adjusting the sharing time to 20-minute periods.
- Limit the exercise to a maximum of 2 hours.
- Determine the sharing order using methods like flipping a coin or rock-paper-scissors.
Engaging in Mono-dialogue + Eye-gazing can be a transformative experience, deepening the connection and trust between partners. Whether you’re looking to enhance your business relationships or foster stronger personal bonds, this practice offers a unique way to build understanding, empathy, and trust.
But Did You Live? 